New Birth

New Birth
Gently as I travel through time and space
Joy and love does the fear and anger replace
They say that time will heal all wounds
And it has indeed been many moons

I am ready to walk out into the light again
Even though the sun may burn my skin
My cocoon was dark and warm with healing springs
But now it’s time to emerge and spread my wings

As I start to take flight and the use of my wings I learn
I am bound to stumble or even crash and burn
But I am a new creature, the old has died away
The dark ages are past and this is the dawn of a new day

So mistakes will be made, and that is ok
But they won’t be the same ones as yesterday
The jagged scars will always be there to remind me
Of the hell that I survived and that I am now free

But they are just scars of memories past
The demons are slain and to my Champion I hold fast
He is my victor and He stands firm by my side
And into the unknown, dawning day we ride

How Long oh Lord?

How Long oh Lord?
How long oh Lord, must I wait
Before I see the end of this dark night?
Before I can sleep a restful sleep?
Or before I can see the fruits of my labor?

How long oh Lord will it take
Till I’m free of these memories?
Till I’m able to see the light?
Or till I’m healed of these wounds?

How long oh Lord must I be
Crying out to you for salvation?

Super Woman

Super Woman

I’m not Super Woman

I am barely hanging on

I am only doing what I have to do

Because any other path would be wrong

 

I don’t know how I manage it

Other then I have no option not to

If I don’t keep moving though the gamut

It’s do or die, and I refuse to stop

 

I am not stronger than anyone else is

In fact I’m weaker in a lot of ways

I am not some special wiz

Who has more power than the average

 

I am not Super Woman

I’m barely hanging on

It’s do or die, and I refuse to stop

I’m no different than the avarage

Happy Anniversary

Happy Anniversary

 

Happy Anniversary he would say with a smile

My gut would fill with dread as he handed me my present

 I would fake excitement as I opened it up

“I bought them online at one of those novelty stores”

He would say as I stared at the brightly colored silicon

 

Later, after the sun had gone down

He would lay out my presents like a torturer’s tool kit

One by one he would try them all out

As I lay there pretending I enjoyed my gift

Artfully masking winces of pain with moans of pleasure

 

Not daring to give hint that I didn’t enjoy it

As he spent hours playing with his new toys

But he really didn’t care if I liked it or not

Since screams of “stop that hurts!” would be ignored

Or answered with “I saw it in a video, that girl liked it!”

My Family

Part 2 of 3

My Family

 Then one day may Champion came to me

My knight in shining armor riding a dark horse

I have come to open your eyes so you can see

Was the opening line of His discourse

 

You are so steeped in these lies

That have been fed to you since birth

That it will take time to open your eyes

And make you see your worth

 

For this reason I am sending you a new Family

They will be My light in your dark world

When they embrace you, you will see

All the lies become unfurled

 

How will I know them? I asked with a tremble

How can I trust that they come from you

What if their lies are just more artful

And they are no better than my current crew

 

Bring your friends along with you, if you must

I will not force you to let go all at once

Over time they will gain your trust

And you will grow weary of your friend’s hindrance

 

You will know your new family by these names

Wisdom, Empathy, Grace, Truth, Justice, Mercy, Love, and Faith

They will work together and pull you from the flames

And they will reveal your friend as a wraith

My Friends

This is part one of a trilogy I am working on.
My Friends

When I was little you came to me

You told me of all the burden I must bare

But that it was ok because in time I would see

That all of these burdens we would share

 

There were days when the weight felt light and easy

But there were days when I was crushed under them

You were always there to tell me you loved me

And that with your strength I could bare them

 

You taught me that in the chaos I needn’t be anxious

And that love was the duty to make them happy

You taught me that even though I was worthless

You would never abandon me

 

You taught me that abuse was par for the course

Because when they are angry love make me a punching bag

With Your help I could endure without remorse

I you wouldn’t abandon me like a used rag

 

Chaos, Worthlessness, and Abuse became my friends

They made me feel loved even though I was nothing

They told me that even though I was responsible for all of their sins

I can only show my love though my sacrificing

Peace

Peace, peace when there is no peace

So you learn to live in chaos

Then one day the storm is over

But you’re still waiting for the next lightning bolt

 

How does one live on land

When they are used to turbulent water?

How does one be at rest

When they are used to being in a war zone?

 

So you start to rebuild your world around you

This time more sturdy and sound

You have learned how to survive a storm

Now you can stand in its eye

Worthless

Worthless

I am worth less than a mothers love

I am worth less than understanding

I am worth less than time to understand

I am worth less than money to pay the bills

I am worth less then loyalty

I am worth less then fidelity

I am worth less then biting words untamed

I am worth less than the plate hurled at the wall

I am worth less than your collectables

I am worth less than your comfort

I am worth less than your health

I am worth less than your entertainment

I am worth less than common decency

I am worth less than your respect

I am worth less than your anger

I am worth less than your self-control

I am worth less than you

One Step Closer

One Step Closer

One step closer to being free from his chains

Something holding my back that I can’t explain

Anger and revenge were my meat and drink

Sustaining me though the initial healing

 

Now all I want is peace and hope of a better love

So how do I follow through with something so against my nature

Without the revenge and anger feeding me

And motivating me to make him pay

 

Knowing my worth, not affected by him

Can I finely let go and just move on

Chasing instead after the hope of new love

And the peace of knowing my value in God

 

A pearl of great price, a treasure worth cherishing

Why would I seek revenge when I have everything

 

So as I take one step closer to being free from his chains

I’ll let nothing hold me back and make me retract

Anger and revenge were my meat and drink

But now I know he’s not worthy of me

Shooting Our Wounded

Shooting Our Wounded

Tired, lonely, don’t want to fight

Just want to be held and cherished tonight

But that’s not in the cards or part of God’s plan

Instead I’m filling out paperwork, glass of wine in my hand

 

Not how it’s supposed to be, so I’m shunned

Even though you were the one who sinned

I would have been happy to be yours forever

But every vow you were determined to sever

 

So now I am the one left defending my right

To find happiness and a lover’s delight

While you have moved on before ink is even dry

And all of your wrongs you flatly deny

 

Something is wrong when we blame the wronged

And find delight when their suffering is prolonged

But the wolf is let go with a simple “I’m sorry”

And the very next day you’re meeting for coffee